When it comes to the idea of power and powerlessness, we have all definitely seen the terms ‘bottoming’ and ‘submission’. Most of us usually refer to them as similar and synonymous, as they both have the connotation of no power. It might be a massive surprise to you that these are as similar in their nature as they are different in practice.
Many people believe that if they know the meaning of the abbreviation BDSM, they probably know everything about it. They tend to use some notions and ideas as equal and mutually reversible. And this is no surprise, we rarely read about notions and terms, but we would rather just enjoy watching naughty videos on the internet. However, it turns out that things are a bit more complicated.
Although they seem very close, here we will focus on the definition of both showing off the differences! Are you a bottom or a submissive? Now, you will know!
What Is Bottoming
In its nature, bottoming is the practice of losing any of your control. It can have different visualizations. If you are a bottom, you can be spanked, tied up, the “lower partner” in sensual plays, role plays, sensory plays, be part of a cross-dressing, or even dollification play.
Here comes the essence! The bottom does it for their own pleasure. They love to be overpowered, dominated, beaten, and even humiliated at home or even in public! That makes it so unique. When it comes to bottoming, the bottom is in their position in order to get their fair share of pleasure and satisfaction. The major motivation is not usually mutual happiness, but the selfish idea of being powerless and slapped!
What Is Submitting
Although submitting and bottoming are used synonymously as practices, they are quite different things. Submitting has the same visualizations, aka the practices mentioned above. On the other hand, the reason of the powerless partner for doing it is different. They would usually not experience much pleasure, if not any pleasure at all, from these practices exactly. A submissive would do it for their partner. They would get their pleasure of the act for the pleasure of their partner. This is a major difference!
Differences In Motivation For The Act
Taking into account what different people gain pleasure from, we can say that the difference comes from the different motivations for the act that lies in different people’s desires. When it comes to submission, the motivation for the act is mainly psychological. People submit for the mental idea of their partner being happy. On the contrary, if we are talking about bottoming, we can clearly state that people bottom in the name of their physical satisfaction and mental pleasure. They love both the toe-crunching orgasm and the idea of being dominated itself, rather than the experience of their partner.
Then, Who Is The Dom In Submission And Bottoming
It is absolutely sure that the dom has full mental control of the sub. However, if you get into bottoming, this is a topic to question. If the powerless partner is the one really getting pleasure, and they are usually the ones putting their partner in the position of a dom without caring whether they want to be in this role, then who is the actual dominant?
For me, with the submission, the dom is only a dom in the role play. In real life, before, during, and after the game, the real dom is submissive in a very psychological way. They set the rules, and they make sure they get what they want…even if this is humiliation and full domination! Surprise, bitch! Who is the Big Boss now?!
Both submitting and bottoming are fun practices. Which one you will choose for yourself is all a matter of preference. It is just important to know where you are at in the whole game and how to express it. As far as you are doing it right, you can have the most fun of it and the most pleasure of it! Do not forget, tho, that you can be both!